How to Identify Your Core Values (and Actually Use Them)

Introduction

If your calendar and your conscience don’t agree, your values aren’t driving your week—urgency is. The fix isn’t a bigger to-do list; it’s a clearer set of guiding choices. This post walks you through a simple, faith-informed values audit so you can name your top five values, define what they mean, and—most importantly—translate them into daily decisions, boundaries, and calendar blocks that hold up under pressure.

What Core Values Are (and Aren’t)

• Are: Non-negotiable principles that guide choices when tradeoffs are real.

• Aren’t: Vibes, slogans, or everything you think is “good.” If everything is a value, nothing is.

Rule of five: Choose five core values (max). Scarcity creates clarity.

Step 1: Surface Your Values (15–20 minutes)

Use any three of the prompts below. Circle repeating themes.

1. Peak moments: When did you feel most alive and aligned? Why?

2. Sacred anger: What consistently upsets you? (Clues to violated values.)

3. Admired people: List three people you respect. Which qualities do you admire?

4. Impossible to trade: What would you refuse to sacrifice for success?

5. Time tells the truth: Look at last week’s calendar. What did you actually honor?

Starter list (pick, then refine): Faith, Family, Integrity, Service, Excellence, Learning, Health, Courage, Generosity, Stewardship, Community, Creativity, Wisdom, Justice, Compassion, Discipline.

Step 2: Define Each Value in One Sentence

Use this template to avoid buzzwords:

To me, [Value] means I [verb] [object] [context], even when [tradeoff].

Examples

• Integrity: To me, integrity means I tell the truth kindly and quickly, even when it costs me comfort or convenience.

• Family: To me, family means I show up with attention and presence, even when work gets loud.

• Excellence: To me, excellence means I deliver my best on time and improve next time, even when no one is watching.

Step 3: Prioritize (Stack-Rank 1–5)

Values will conflict. Rank them now so you’re not negotiating in the moment.

Tiebreaker question: “If I can only honor one value in this decision, which one leads?”

Step 4: Translate Values into Behaviors, Boundaries, and Proofs

Create a mini-playbook for each value:

Value3 Behaviors (Do)1 Boundary (Don’t)Weekly Proof (Measure)FamilyDate night, device-free dinners, kids’ events on calendar firstNo work calls after 7pm (except true emergencies)3 presence wins logged in notesExcellenceDeep work 25–50 min daily, submit on time, request feedbackNo “perfecting” past diminishing returns5 deep-work blocks completedHealth7h sleep, 30-min movement, water before coffeeNo screens in bed5 movement sessions

Keep it simple and visible.

Step 5: Build a Yes/No Filter You Can Use in Seconds

Create a wallet card or phone note:

YES if it serves: Purpose • People • Peace
NO (or Not Now) if it conflicts with the top 1–2 values this week.

Micro-script for saying no:
“Thanks for thinking of me. I’m protecting [value] this week, so I need to pass. If timing shifts, I’m open to [smaller/helpful alternative].”

Step 6: Put Your Values on the Calendar

If it’s not scheduled, it’s not a value—it’s a hope.

1. Block anchors first: prayer/quiet time (Faith), workouts (Health), date night/family night (Family).

2. Protect deep work: 25–50 minute blocks for your highest-value project (Excellence/Service).

3. Create “guard-rails”: e.g., meetings 10–3 only; 7–8pm reserved for family.

4. Name your blocks: “Excellence—Proposal Draft” beats “Work.”

Step 7: Share Your Values with Your People

Clarity multiplies when it’s shared.

• Family huddle (10 minutes): “Here are my five values and how they’ll show up this week.”

• Team share (Slack/meeting): “I’m focusing on Excellence and Stewardship this sprint—expect quieter mornings and sharper deliverables.”

• Accountability buddy: Text your weekly “Yes/No” rules on Monday.

Step 8: Run a 10-Minute Weekly Review

Set a recurring 10-minute appointment (Sunday PM or Monday AM).

The 3–3–1 Review

• 3 wins: Where did I live my values?

• 3 lessons: Where did I trade values for urgency?

• 1 change: What boundary or block will I adjust this week?

Score it (1–10): How aligned was my week? Note one concrete tweak.

Step 9: When Values Collide (They Will)

Use this three-step triage:

1. Name the conflict: e.g., Family vs. Excellence (overtime).

2. Honor the hierarchy: Which value ranks higher this season?

3. Design a both/and plan: Short-term concession + scheduled make-good.

   • “I’ll leave the office at 5:30 (Family), and block two deep-work hours tomorrow (Excellence).”

Step 10: Common Traps (and Fixes)

• Trap: Too many values. Fix: Limit to five. Put the rest under themes.

• Trap: Vague definitions. Fix: Use the sentence template and add a tradeoff.

• Trap: No boundaries. Fix: Add one “will not” per value.

• Trap: Calendar amnesia. Fix: Schedule anchors first, every week.

• Trap: Solo mission. Fix: Share with a person who will lovingly hold you to it.

One-Page Values Card (Copy/Paste Template)

My Top Five (ranked): 1) ____ 2) ____ 3) ____ 4) ____ 5) ____
Definitions (one line each):

• ____ : To me, ____ means I ____ ____, even when _____.

• ____ : To me, ____ means I ____ ____, even when _____.

• ____ : To me, ____ means I ____ ____, even when _____.

• ____ : To me, ____ means I ____ ____, even when _____.

• ____ : To me, ____ means I ____ ____, even when _____.

This week I will (behaviors):

• ____ • ____ • ____

This week I won’t (boundary):

Yes/No filter: Yes if it serves Purpose/People/Peace. Otherwise, No/Not Now.

Weekly proof:

• Presence wins: __

• Deep-work blocks: __

• Movement sessions: __

Faith & Mindset Anchors (Optional but Powerful)

• A short daily prayer: “Lord, align my choices with Your purpose today.”

• An affirmation: “My calendar reflects what matters most.”

• A verse to post near your desk: “Commit your work to the Lord…” (Prov 16:3)

FAQ

What if my values change? They’ll mature with seasons. Revisit quarterly.
Can I have different “work vs. home” values? Keep one unified list; context changes behaviors, not values.
What if my team’s values differ from mine? Clarify shared operating principles for the project; protect your personal boundaries.

Conclusion

Core values aren’t a wall poster; they’re the rules of engagement for your life. Name five, define them in one sentence, rank them, translate them into behaviors and boundaries, then schedule what matters. Review weekly, adjust graciously, and watch your peace and momentum rise.

Next right step (choose one):

• Block 15 minutes to draft your five values and definitions.

• Add three behaviors, one boundary, and one weekly proof per value.

• Share your Yes/No filter with a trusted friend or your team.